top of page
Colby Michaels

Zoom Zoom- Singapore GP 2024! Eff the FIA for their swearing ban, Dominant victory for Team Papaya, Driver Eye Candy, Kylie Minogue waves, and a speedy lizard goes viral!


Welcome back after that amazing race in Baku last weekend to the 18th GP of the season, Singapore GP 2024, another street race this week at Marina Bay, but this one will be held at night. But before the wheels hit the track, this happened: Potty-mouth drivers told by FIA (The governing body and rules-setter for F1) to clean up their language on the team radios, or fines will be given! What the EFFF??!!! A) When you get bumped by another driver, or your car doesn't do what it's supposed to do, most racing drivers instinctual first reaction is to drop an F-bomb. During press day on Thursday, Max Verstappen unintentionally (??) dropped an F-bomb, and FIA released a statement next day that Max has to perform some sort of community service!! I'm not one of Max's biggest fans, but I am with him and the other drivers on this. (Yuki, you in trouble, young man!).

So an example, of say, Perez cutting off Alonso in a very very naughty way on the track and two ways Alonso could respond in the team radio:

FIA Bad: "What was that a**hole, thinking? He could've f*ucked up both our cars!"

FIA Good: "I would like to express my concern over Perez's driving. It appears he showed a lack of attention and disregard to racing rules, endangering others around him."


This pic sums up how I (and Max, and probably the other drivers) feel about this stupidity! (Also made me think of you, Terrill!)


Oy, back to the track! As always, here's your driver/team snap...with the asterisk of Sargent being replaced by young Franco Colapinto at Williams Racing:


P1: All three practices are 60 minutes. Also back from serving his one race suspension for too many penalties is Haas team driver Kevin Magnussen. This track takes 2 miles to complete a lap, with 19 turns and FOUR DRS zones (makes you go really fast if you are eligible to do so!). Early evening, just before sunset, skies are clear, 87 degrees, 100 degrees on track but 85 percent humidity! A driver can lose up to 5 kilos in weight (11 pounds) during this weekend! Alonso/Aston-Martin had the funniest exchange on team radio, when his team asked basically "is everything okay, you pressed a button!" , Alonso's response was "I pushed ALL the buttons!", as he is clearly unhappy with his car. No incidents, so we move to P2 under the lights at night!


P2: Gorgeous evening at Marina Bay in Singapore, clear, 86 degrees, 74% humidity of this practice two, which is more representative of Quali and the GP, as opposed to P1 and P3 on Saturday. A technical issue came up thanks to Red Bull's bitching, even though FIA said that McLaren's rear wing (the one that opens up in a DRS zone) was legal, McLaren on their own, has changed that rear wing, being pro-active. Onto to P2 then!

A "whoopsie" moment for William's Colapinto, as the young rookie Argentine driver goes into the pit lane....WRONG team pit stop, as he cruises into the pit box of Alpine, that pit crew is like "no touchie", and Franco moves up on spot to his Williams pit crew! It happens every now and then to even the most seasoned drivers! I was about to write "no incidents", when Mercedes Brit George Russell said "hold my pint", as he oversteered and put the front of his car into the wall on Turn 8. Russell and his car were able to get out and limp back into the Mercedes paddock, but he left his front wing behind on track. With that, it's a wrap for P2!


P3: Cloudy, with 84 degrees and 78 percent humidity, it's a very hot and sticky day for P3. And we have our first RED FLAG at nearly the beginning of this practice as a rather large lizard has appeared on track just before Turn 16. Lawrence the Lizard as he has now been dubbed, must've known he was in the DRS zone, cuz when the lizard wranglers came to get Lawrence, that lizard found his 5th gear and I swear its running speed was better than either Alpine car! (Your shade for this race!)

UPDATE: Lawrence the Lizard had his lap time deleted for track limits as none of his four claws were within the white lines! Update #2: Lawrence the Lizard called into the stewards office for swearing, must do community service with Max! (okay, more shade!).



Green flag up with 45 minutes to go. Albon of Williams clipped the wall and punctured his front tyre with about 30 minutes to go, so he rolls into the paddock to get a new set of tyres. No further incidents or lizards, so that is a wrap on P3!


Driver Eye Candy: Speaking of Alex, I have chosen the British/Thailand Williams driver as Driver Eye Candy for this race, as it's the race closest to his homeland, and he is absolutely one of the most fun and adorable, kind, silly, thoughtful drivers on the F1 circuit:


A note on how Qualifying works: There are three quick races to determine grid position for the GP race. First quali the last five drivers are cut, second quali again, last five drivers dropped, and 3rd and final quali determines the top ten on the grid and the ever important pole (1st) position. This also applies to the Sprint Qualis, you will just see me use SQ1 to show the difference.


Q1: 14 minutes. Cloudy and hot and muggy under the lights! No incidents so your bottom five driver for the GP grid are: Zhou and Bottas/Sauber, Gasley/ Alpine, Stroll/ Aston-Martin, and Riccardo/RB. Q2: 12 minutes: No incidents as well, other than drivers complaining about no grip and bumps on the track, and Sergio Perez of Red Bull not making the top ten, so the next bottom five are are: Perez/Red Bull, Ocon/ALpine, Magnussen/Haas, and both Williams drivers, Albon and Colapinto.


Q3: 11 minutes, pole and grid position for the top ten. I was about to write a clean 3 Quali's but then in the last three minutes Carlos Sainz got spun around like a record and the nose of his Ferrari found the wall. In the last minute with drivers pushing for their fastest laps, Sainz's teammate popped into 3rd, but had his lap deleted for "exceeding track limits" on Turn 2, where all four of his tyres slid over the right line, and then returning back on the track. that's a big no-no! Your top ten grid then is: Lando on pole! Max next to him at 2nd (reminder: these two are battling for the Driver's Cup), its a Mercedes 2nd row with Lewis Hamilton-3rd and George Russell-4th, McLaren's Oscar Piastri-5th, Haas Nico Hulkenberg-6th (best grid position for Nico and Haas this season!), Aston-Martin' Fernando Alonso-7th, RB's Yuki Tsunoda-8th, and both Ferrari's taking the back row of the top ten, with LeClerc-9th, and Sainz-10th.


Eye Candy Alex prefers this type of dive-bombing than what his new teammate did on the track at the start of the race!


Grand Prix Sunday in Singapore! As the sun has just set, the floodlights are on, the weather is again hot and muggy. 62 laps, 19 turns for this GP. Turns 7, 14 and 16 will be the tricky ones. Majority of drivers starting with medium tyres, others with hard tyres. And it's LIGHTS OUT and Lando has a brilliant clean start off the starting line to keep ahead of Max thru the first turn!

Lap 15 finds Williams driver Alex Albon retiring his car for a DNF (Did not finish), with the top eight as they were (correction: LeClerc is in 8th, Yuki dropped back to 11th), and Lando with and 11 second lead on Max up front.


Alex during his Blondes Have More Fun phase!


Lap 30 finds Lando a monster 26 seconds in front of Max, who boxes to change tyres, Piastri now in 2nd, Max in 3rd, LeClerc, who needs to box to change tyres, Norris does pit to change tyres, Mercedes drivers in 4th and 5th, Yuki back up to 7th, and Sainz, who pitted earlier, has risen from 15th to 8th! Hulkenberg has slid back to 10th.


Lap 46 still finds Lando with a 24 second lead over Max, and his Team Papaya mate, Piastri, has just overtaken Mercedes George Russell for 3rd place. At this point in the race, Mercedes Russell and Hamilton 4th and 5th, Ferrari's LeClerc and Sainz 6th and 7th, Aston-Martin's Alonso in 8th, Haas Hulkenberg in 9th, and Max's Red Bull teammate in the last points position at 10th.

Haas Magnussen retires his car on lap 60, as Russell and and LeClerc in a battle for 4th is the closest battle on the track. And light up the fireworks over Marina Bay, as Lando Norris wins his 3rd Grand Prix of the season, winning by a huge 20 second margin over Max, with Oscar Piastri joining his McLaren teammate on the podium! Russell held on to 4th, LeClerc-5th,

Hamilton-6th, Sainz- 7th, Alonso-8th, Hulkenberg-9th, and rounding out the points, Perez- 10th.

Max and Oscar not as happy as Lando on the podium!


By winning pole position, leading for the entire race, and winning, Lando gets his first "Grand Slam" of his career! Riccardo scored "Driver of the Day" from the fans (as this may be his final race?) Oh gays, did I mention that waving the checkered flag was being waved by mega pop star Kylie Minogue? :)



Riccardo of RB clocked in with fastest lap of the day, but since he was not in the top ten, RB doesn't get the point, but it PREVENTS Lando and McLaren from getting the point, which could be crucial as the season winds down.


Post race notes: First time ever at Singapore GP there was not a yellow flag or safety car! the heat and humidity were BRUTAL on the drivers, as I saw video of some of them barely able to get out of their cars! F1 racing goes on a break for a few weeks, so will see you again late October in Austin, Texas! Yee Haw!


留言


bottom of page