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Colby Michaels

Grab Bag: A scary encounter for a rookie 49er, Purdy gets his Trent protection, Giants make a surprise signing extension, Scary movie reviews, and world's oldest penis discovered!


As just about everyone has heard, rookie wide receiver Ricky Pearsall was shot in San Francisco's Union Square on Saturday. Miraculously, the bullet went straight thru his right chest, missing any vital organs. Next big surprise was Pearsall was released from SF General on the next day, Sunday. There has been A LOT of rumors, speculation, and just stupid stuff talked about regarding a few things that occurred that weekend. After confirming with several reliable sources, I can build an ACCURATE timeline of what went down over the weekend.


  1. Pearsall was at an autograph signing gig near Union Square. Afterwards, he went shopping for luggage as the Niners play the Jets at Levi Stadium on Monday. Pearsall happened to be wearing a very nice gold Rolex, which caught the eye of his 17 tear old assailant from Tracy, California. The assailant, who did not know Pearsall was an NFL player, approached Pearsall and brandished a gun, demanding the watch, and Pearsall resisted, leading to a struggle, with both Pearsall and the assailant getting shot, before the police and paramedics arrived. Pearsall was taken to SF General, as was the assailant, who later was moved to county jail.

  2. The 49ers players and coaches had their end of practice season party on Saturday night, and the party went on based on a couple of things folks obviously didn't take time to research. General Manager John Lynch went to SF General, and after getting an update from Pearsall and his doctors, relayed Pearsall's message to the team to DO NOT cancel the party, and so the party went on as scheduled, with Pearsall Facetiming into the party to let the guys know he was okay.

  3. The 49ers put Pearsall on the injured reserve list ( I know, duh), and will miss the first four games of the season. And 48 hours after being shot, Pearsall was in the 49ers locker room working out! I am presuming lower body work! Oh, and Ricky's street cred has jumped up leaps and bounds!


Heal well, Ricky! See you soon on the field!


So that is that with the whole shooting/Niners partying thing. #Factsmatter


In other 49ers news, at his press conference, newly re-signed wide receiver Brandon Aiyuk did admit he did make the negotiations a bit harder than they should have been (Ya think Brandon?), but is very glad to be back with the team he belongs with!

Then the last piece of the off-season drama puzzle was resolved, as QB Brock Purdy's blind side protector, offensive tackle Trent Williams, signed a new contract for three years, at about 80 million dollars. Williams said in his press conference that afte hearing about Pearsall's shooting, he was even more motivated to get the deal done, and get back with his teammates! With the band now intact, we all can now prepare ourselves for the SF 49ers season opener on Monday night against the Jets!


SF Giants: Last I checked, the Giants haven't been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, but it's only a matter of time at this point. A bright spot was that pitcher Blake Snel was named August Pitcher of the Month. There was some breaking news on Wednesday night, as out of the blue, the Giants and 3rd baseman Matt Chapman agreed to a six-year 151 million dollar contract extension. Apparently Chappy really likes it here, and is seeing something us fan are not, that he has decided to plant roots here for a while!


College Football: The new season has begun, and Florida State wishes it had not, starting off 0-2 in pretty ugly fashion! Locally, Cal beat UC Davis while Stanford fell to the TCU Horned Frogs. ParaOlympics: I've been peeking in on the ParaOlympic games in Paris, waiting for the event that happened on Friday, which was the men's 400M race. The reason why started at the main Olympics, where USA's Tara Davis-Woodhall won the gold in the women's long jump, and got one of the most joyous celebrations from her husband, paraplegic (lost both legs in car accident), Hunter Woodhall. Well, Hunter held up his end of the deal, WINNING the gold in the men's 400M for the USA! So happy for this couple.



Movie Reviews! Scares galore!

First up is "Quiet Place: Day One". Kind of a parallel prequel to Quiet Place: Part 2. The first two movies took place in Smalltown, USA, while this flick takes place in the noisiest city on Earth, New York City. The set up for all these flicks is that aliens have landed on our planet, and while they have poor vision, they most excellent hearing, which is deadly, especially in a noisy place like NYC! If you have an excellent sound system, this movie franchise is for you, as there is hardly any dialogue, and each sound is amplified to potential deadly consequences (son't slurp that coffee,, or step on a dried leaf!). QP: Day One follows Sam, played by Lupita Nyong'o and her cat Frodo (LOTR's fans will get this), as they go on a day trip from the assisted living facility Sam is residing at, to see a show in New York and get some NYC pizza. First signs of trouble are when military choppers fill the Manhattan sky, followed by so many white streaks plummeting to Earth (the aliens), and then all hell breaks loose, essentially. Sam learns very quickly that sound attracts the nasty, scary aliens, and for reasons I won't spoil here, sets out to get to a particular place in NYC by foot. She is joined along the way by a British dude who was in NYC for an interview, so he tags along with Sam for her journey (and a good thing he did!). Pacing of the film was pretty good, as there are long sequences of "conversation" and other scenes that had the audience we saw it with tossing their popcorn into the air- Maximum scare effects indeed! (That damn mouse bell!). Spoiler: The cat lives! :) I still think the first Quiet Place is the best, partly because the concept was so original, audiences held their breath waiting for some "whoops" type of sound to send the aliens running at the sound with the speed of cheetahs! "Day One" is a fine entry, and changes the "sound playing field", so I do highly recommend it as a great date night movie! 4 scare cuddles out of 5! Trailer for Quiet Place: Day One , which JUST landed on Paramount Plus!



"Alien: Romulus", The newest entry of the Alien movie franchise, goes back to it's roots in a lot of ways, starting with where it fits in the timeline, which is between the first Alien and second Aliens movies. Romulus is gives the feel of that first Alien movie using very little CGI and relying on actual sets and actual puppeteering for the nastiest alien species in movie history, and it works! The claustrophobia is there, as is the sense of dread, and the ever-fun, "DON"T OPEN THAT DOOR" sequences the audiences are screaming at the screen, before they (and me and my date) scream out bloody lungs out! Having a cast of unknowns I think helped, as it keeps the audience guessing who gonna make it out of this? A NEGATIVE I have to point out: There are a lot of scenes where the transitions of character placement get awfully confusing- my advice, once you identify this problem, let it go, and just roll with the movie.

There is a LOT of previous Alien movies references to delight the fans, the special effects really make this movie a tense viewing, and their is one scene regarding gravity (yeah! We got them! to Oh fudge!) that I absolutely loved for it's creativity! There are also two scenes where your lunch may force an unexpected exit- one is so wonderfully gross that a few people left the theater! Overall, I give it a 5 out of five scare cuddles, ice for arms being squeezed when the scare jumps attack! And to paraphrase the first Alien movie's tagline: "In space, that is the only place where anyone should hear my boyfriend's scream!" :)


Trailer for Alien: Romulus . Still in theaters but will be coming to streaming soon!


Finally, a dick story! But it's all about science! Apparently the world's oldest penis has been found! A 425 million old crustacean snags the honors. If you want to know more about what a great sex life this species had, click on the link below! ( I watch way too much TV!) https://interestingengineering.com/science/oldest-penis-ever-discovered-crab

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